CHAPTER FIVE

Marriage for the believer should be far different, and based upon better premises, than those which unsaved persons know. True believers in Christ will guard their thought life, and their social activities. In that way the fact of Hebrews 13:4 becomes a secure foundation for their home. "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed is undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

That is how God regards Godly marriages. The procreation of the whole human race rests upon that fact. It is a special security for the marriage of believers. Understand that our marriage bed is undefiled IF we keep it that way! In the fear of God, we limit our sexual activity to our spouse alone, in thought and in deed. We can gain God's blessing by obeying His decree. Genesis 1:28.

God given authority for man and wife is invested in Genesis 1:28. It is the source of authority upon which believers can draw, in dealing with their family. That authority can help us to avoid the failures that unbelievers have. Parental authority is also a powerful influence on children. If we honor God, His blessings will help us in our times of need. Praise God.

The Lord Jesus Christ recognized and sanctioned marriage when He was upon the earth. He even acknowledged the marriages of unsaved people, and those outside of mainstream Jewish society.

Thus, marriage is not uniquely a Jewish custom. It is not unique to the Law of Moses, though Moses wrote much about it. Marriage is not unique to an era, and it is not to be abandoned in favor of current human ideas. Notice Saint John 4:16-19.

"Jesus saith unto her, Go call thine husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus saith unto her, Thou hast well said I have no husband: for thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou hast now is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly."

Notice that Jesus acknowledged that she had been married five times. Each was a valid marriage in His sight. The woman at last became a 'live in' with a man she was not married to.

We conclude then, that a marriage after a divorce is a valid marriage in God's sight. It is not His perfect will, but He does permit it, and He acknowledges it as a marriage. The Law of Moses also permitted divorce according to Deuteronomy 24:1-2.

"When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then LET him write her a bill of DIVORCEMENT, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and BE another man's WIFE." (My emphasis.)

While Jesus was on the earth, He ministered and lived within the constraints of the Law of Moses. He fulfilled it and then He brought in the New Testament when He arose from the dead. Jesus referred to both Genesis 2:23-24 and Deuteronomy 24:1-2 in His reply to the Pharisees' question about divorce. Matthew 19:3-6.

They had asked Him if it was lawful to put away (divorce) a wife for "every cause." According to Jesus, God never intended divorce for a man or his wife at all. No provision was made for divorce in Genesis 2:23-24. Divorce was permitted under the Law of Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-2, as Divine mercy due to the hardness of human hearts.

Under the provisions of the New Testament, if a husband and wife live together within the bounds of God's blessing and provision, they will never divorce!

Ephesians 5:22-25 shows us how to maintain a Christian marriage. If we truly live according to the New Testament, we will never fall into divorce. Notice Romans 13:10: "Love works no ill to his neighbor." How much less to our spouse! When Christians divorce, there is ALWAYS a failure in Christian living involved on the part of one or of both spouses.

In our new nature through the new birth, hardness of heart is done away. If we live in harmony with our new nature in Christ we can make sure that it stays away.

Because of the hardness of heart among the Jews under the Law of Moses, God permitted divorce. He also recognizes divorce and remarriage among all the people of the earth.

There is a measure of Divine Presence in each true marriage, as long as each spouse lives according to the Divine plan of Genesis 1:28 and Genesis 2:23-25. This is the general state of marriage for all people today.

God holds sinners accountable for their adultery, the same as He does for believers. That means then that He recognizes marriage as valid for saints and sinners alike, on the basis of Genesis 1:28.

Unsaved people can have a happy marriage if they observe the sacredness of marriage and do not defile their marriage bed by adultery. They can claim a measure of God's blessings if they live within the original plan, as Jesus noted in Matthew 19:4-6.

Sin or sainthood is not the issue in God's holy Institution. Sin was not in the world at that time. Therefore, God did not deal with it then as He does now. He never intended for man to sin. If Adam had never sinned, human hearts would not have become so hard as to require God to make an allowance for what He did not intend. How happy mankind would be if we had never sinned!

Adam did sin, and now we must deal with the results. Thank God, by God's grace and mercy, we can overcome the lusts of our flesh that seek to dominate our God given sexuality. We can obtain the blessings that God provides for us in Christ Jesus. Notice Colossians 1:13-14.

"Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the Kingdom of His dear Son: in Whom we have redemption through His Blood, even the forgiveness of sins."

We can obtain that blessing through Acts 16:31. "And they said unto him, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved and thy house."

It is true that believers are new creatures in Christ. We have the nature of Jesus Christ living in us. That should control all of our disposition and activities. Galatians 5:16 tells us to walk in the Spirit and we shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. According to the Apostle Peter, we can become partakers of the Divine Nature, through God's exceeding great and precious promises. 2 Peter 1:4.

The New Testament tells us how to deal with the impulses of sin that seek to take us captive through our lusts.

Incidentally, God gave us holy sexual appetite, and other appetites that are holy and acceptable to God. But sin seeks to capture those holy, God given appetites, and by them to make us slaves of sin.

Romans 6:16: "Know ye not that to whom ye yield your selves to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or obedience unto righteousness?"

Although we are new creatures in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) we are still in our mortal body. We are yet subject to temptation, and influences in the ungodly world around us. (That isn't a case or cause for us to sin.) We also have a determined enemy that goes about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8. We are to resist him, being steadfast in the faith, according to verse nine.

1 John 5:4 tells us that faith is the victory that overcomes the world. Through faith in Jesus Christ, we can overcome every threat. In fact, Romans 8:37 tells us that we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.

We must constantly be on our guard. We must be watchful lest daily stresses and temptations deceive us, and make us fail. Notice Colossians 3:18-21. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for t his is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

Earlier we said that the Presence of God is generally in marriage. Then the question of why Christians divorce begs an answer. It is because one or the other of the spouses fail to live according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That doesn't say that they don't believe on Jesus. They simply don't act as believers in the area of marriage.

The submission of the wife to her husband does not intend that she is to be his slave, or that she is to submit to ungodly behavior. No place in any Scripture does God ever bid ANYONE to sin. No, the word "submit" has to do with orderly living according to the Word of God, with her husband.

Colossians 3:19 bids the husband to love his wife. The word love in this verse means to direct his will towards her, and to find joy in here. It is NOT predicated on modern romantic ideas! He isn't to let himself become embittered towards her for any failure of hers.

On the subject, there is a vital Gospel ingredient that is needed to prevent strife between husbands and wives, family members and society in general. Every Christian should know it well, and practice it constantly. It is found in Matthew 6:14-15 and Mark 11:25-26. "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive your trespasses. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."

In our western society, we assume that human love is the most important part of marriage. It important, but the ability to forgive is also very important! It is in this way that the word "Love" works it highest benefit. Husbands must DIRECT their will to forgive their wife, and wives must DIRECT their will to forgive their husbands! They WILL make mistakes. Forgive each other. Both spouses need God's forgiveness. therefore, forgive.

That is how a husband can prevent himself from becoming embittered towards his wife. It is how the wife can keep from becoming embittered towards her husband. Does the Scripture teach such a concept elsewhere? Surely!

Notice 1 Peter 3:7: "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

Notice how 1 Peter 3:1-4 invokes the behavior of a Christian woman. "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the Word, they also may without the Word be won by the conversation of the wives: while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is no corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

Thus, if believers in Christ live according to the Word of God, there will never be a divorce among them. There can be no cause of divorce. It surely requires vigilance, and determined commitment to God's Word, but is does work! It also receives God's blessings in so many ways that there is not room in this little book to relate them all. Certainly, Acts 16:31 is one of them! "And they said, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house."