Forgiveness:
Unforgiveness comes from wrongdoings, damage done by
someone that undermines our sense of life, justice,
betrayal, faith, love, peace, honor and being.
Matt 18:21-35
21 Then came Peter to him, and said,
Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I
forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not
unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times
seven.
23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven
likened unto a certain king, which would take account of
his servants.
24 And when he had begun to reckon,
one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand
talents.
25 But forasmuch as he had not to
pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and
children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 The servant therefore fell down,
and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me,
and I will pay thee all.
27 Then the lord of that servant was
moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the
debt.
28 But the same servant went out, and
found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred
pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the
throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
29 And his fellowservant fell down at
his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me,
and I will pay thee all.
30 And he would not: but went and
cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
31 So when his fellowservants saw
what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told
unto their lord all that was done.
32 Then his lord, after that he had
called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I
forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
33 Shouldest not thou also have had
compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on
thee?
34 And his lord was wroth, and
delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all
that was due unto him.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly
Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive
not every one his brother their trespasses. KJV
Spiritual
Principles Taught by Jesus in the Parable of the King
Taking Account
- The
king’s relationship with everyone was that of Love.
You must be one who decides to love unconditional at
all times out of Love we have received and also out of
obedience.
- Forgive
with all your heart. - verse 35
- Take
an accurate and honest account. - verse 23
- Have
compassion – Get angry at the situation, not the
person. - verse 27
- Loose
the person (tear up the contract) - verse 27
- Forgive,
remit the debt, take it on your own account, it is a
sacrifice and giving of yourself to others. - verse 27
- Have
mercy (giving someone something they don’t deserve)
- Forgiveness
is to love your neighbor.
- Forgiveness
is to let go of the injustice without penalty.
Matthew
22:39
And the
second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as
thyself. KJV
- Look
at how our Father, through Jesus, forgave us.
John
3:16-17
16 For God
so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but
have everlasting life.
17 For God
sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but
that the world through him might be saved.
KJV
Acts
of forgiveness gives life; unforgiveness brings torment
and death.
Consequences
of Not Forgiving
- Torment
- Matt 18:34
- Prayers
not answered and faith is weakened
Mark
11:24-26
24
Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire,
when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall
have them.
25 And
when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against
any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive
you your trespasses.
26 But if
ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in
heaven forgive your trespasses.
KJV
1 Peter
3:7-9
7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life;
that your prayers be not hindered.
8
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of
another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
9 Not
rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but
contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto
called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
KJV
James
5:14-15
14 Is any
sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church;
and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the
name of the Lord:
15 And
the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord
shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they
shall be forgiven him.
KJV
- Prayers
hindered for couples:
1 Peter
3:7
7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life;
that your prayers be not hindered.
KJV
- Your
sins will not be forgiven:
Matt
6:14-15
14 For if
ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you:
15 But if
ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your
Father forgive your trespasses.
KJV
Luke
6:37-38
37 Judge
not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall
not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
38 Give,
and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed
down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men
give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye
mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
KJV
James
2:12-13
12 So
speak ye, and so do, as they that shall be judged by the
law of liberty.
13 For he
shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no
mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.
KJV
1 Peter
3:7-9
7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life;
that your prayers be not hindered.
8
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of
another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
9 Not
rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but
contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto
called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
KJV
- Law
of reciprocity
Matthew
7:12
Therefore
all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,
do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the
prophets. KJV
Gal
6:7-10
7 Be not
deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth,
that shall he also reap.
8 For he
that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap
corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the
Spirit reap life everlasting.
9 And let
us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall
reap, if we faint not.
10 As we
have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men,
especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
KJV
Matt
6:14-15
14 For if
ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you:
15 But if
ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your
Father forgive your trespasses.
KJV
- We
are not called to be the judges and jury, only Christ.
Spiritual
Consequences of Unforgiveness
- Self-pity
- Anger
- Resentment
- Bitterness
- Self-justification
- Revenge
- Hatred
- Depression
- Discouragement
- Despondency
- Despair
- Strife
- Unkindness
- Insecurity
- Envy
- Jealousy
- A
binding contract between you and the other person.
Making it impossible for God to intervene because we
do not allow Him to be God,
- and
we remove His authority in our lives. We become gods,
and this is stubbornness (witchcraft) and idolatry.
- We
worship our anger and pain giving extravagant devotion
to the fruit of unforgiveness.
- Calls
on the Lord of the flies and the tormentors on those
who do not forgive.
- Prayers
hindered
- Personal
sins not forgiven
- Will
call us to judgment on the matter
- We
attract those who we have not forgiven
- We
will bring those items into the relationships we
presently have.
- We
give our personal power over to others who will tell
us how we feel, act and what we should do.
- We
react to similar situations
- We
are not able to have healthy communication and
potential reconciliation with others.
- Has
earthly and eternal consequences
- We
block our spiritual communication with God.
Biblical
examples of unforgiveness
Esau was wronged by his brother,
mother, and father and had unforgiveness and became
bitter. This affected his whole line of children through
the generations.
Herod was one of Esau’s
future generation and he wanted to kill Jesus.
Spiritual
Restoration of Life for Forgiving
- Hope
- Joy
- Compassion
- Concern
for others
- Restoration
- Zeal
for life
- Love
- Emotional
freedom
- Temperance
- Kindness
- Peace
- Gentleness
- Patience
- Repentance
- Mercy
- Grace
for others
- Healing
(spirit, soul and body)
Scientific Studies
Show that Forgiveness:
- Reduces
depression
- Increases
hopefulness
- Decreases
anger and anxiety
- Heals
relationships
- Increases
maturity and personal growth
- Self-confidence
- Increases
self-esteem
- Less
blame on others for ones own actions
- Brings
out compassion
- Prevents
obsessive thinking (immediate results show improvement
in health)
- Reduces
stress (fight/flight process)
- Brightens
ones horizons and future
- Fewer
health and mental illnesses
- Develops
healthy defense mechanisms of the mind
- Fewer
physical symptoms
- Cardiovascular
diseases, cancer, auto immune diseases, etc.
- Spiritual
growth and well being
- Feel
free and healthy, physically and emotionally.
- Freedom
from the pain carried from the past and allows you to
be free to go on
- Removes
the guilt that can destroy the spirit and the mind
- Allows
us to forgive ourselves
- Teaches
us what is true unconditional love
Reasons
we should forgive
- It
is a good practice in forgiving ourselves.
- We
forgive because of all that we have been forgiven.
- We
forgive because of all the Lord will forgive us.
- We
forgive because if we don’t, we will not be
forgiven.
- Because
Jesus did
- If
we don’t forgive, we are going to be tormented.
- If
we don’t, our loved ones will bare the consequences.
- If
we forgive, it contributes to our sanctification.
- It
frees us to let go of the past and move on with all of
our lives.
- We
forgive so we are released from physical consequences.
Forgiveness:
- Mourning
is required to understand ones own pain, but is
necessary to release it to be free.
- Must
deal with personal bitterness
- It
is a heroic choice
- You
cannot have love of God without restoring love for
neighbor.
- Restoring
someone through love restores peace.
- Is
not carnal, but spiritual. Thoughts must be changed.
It is restraining ones thoughts from destructive
resentments and misdirected anger.
- Insight
into releasing the pain of the injustice.
- It
is not cheap, but is costly.
- It
is an act of will and not emotions.
- It
is not forgetting, but remembering and releasing the
debt and its requirements.
- Does
not condone, deny, minimize, justify, neglects the
act(s) or approve, but acknowledge and tries to
understand the person with compassion.
- It
looks at the act separate from the person.
- Does
not seek justice, restitution, compensation (quid pro
quo) or punishment.
- Releases
you and the person from judgment since we all need to
know that we need the grace and mercy of God from
offences we have done.
- Is
self-sacrificing; Jesus is our example of God’s
forgiveness.
- God
sacrificed Himself in the form of Jesus, His Son
so that we could understand the sacrifice of
forgiveness and mercy towards us and
- what
is necessary for us to forgive. It is the perfect
illustration of Love and Forgiveness that restores
us to peace. It is a gift.
- Eph
2:4-9
4
But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love
wherewith he loved us,
5 Even when
we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with
Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6 And hath
raised us up together, and made us sit together in
heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in
the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his
grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8 For by
grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of
yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9
Not of works, lest any man should boast.
KJV
- Is
turning to good instead of returning evil from the
injustice.
NOTE:
Forgiving does not mean to allow someone to keep
abusing or hurting, but if they ask forgiveness and stop
and repent, we forgive them.
Phases
of Forgiving
- Honest
reality of the injustice:
- What
is the injustice or injury?
- Gather
true facts of the injustice.
- What
is the true injury? Know that there are different
perceptions.
- Identify
the results of the injustice.
- What
was taken, get a right perspective.
- Be
objective and try to reframe the injustice to what
would lead to forgiveness.
- What
is the pain?
- What
are the consequences?
- What
suffering did in present?
- Get
in touch with the hurt and the anger, and use
righteous anger to turn things godly.
- Desire
to find the peace that comes from God and your
healing.
- Begin
to pray that the Holy Spirit will help guide and
lead you to forgiveness.
- Doing
what God seeks is our best revenge.
- It
is not flesh and blood that we fight, but the work
of the devil, both parties have been attacked and
damaged.
- Separate
the act from the person.
- Have
compassion for the person look for good traits and
not just the bad.
- Give
the situation to God to resolve.
- Don’t
waste your precious life over the past go forward
with your life. If not, you will be stuck and not
savor the best that God has for you.
- Begin
to see yourself healed and free from the torment of
unforgiveness.
- Forgive
for good
- Remember
that you are the only one responsible for your
thoughts, emotions and actions, and the only one
that can deal with the hurt and pain.
- You
are 100% responsible to forgive.
- Forgiveness
returns all things back to love.
- Recognize
what you may have had a part in the injustice, if
any.
- Release
hurt, anger, resentment, judgment and grief.
- Practice
the presence of God and stress release management,
(flight/flight)
- Set
goals to restore your life.
- Use
the injustice as a learning process and not place
guilt, shame or punishment.
- Decide
not to be a victim with all of its behaviors.
- Stop
trying to be or prove you are right, make it right
instead.
- Give
up your grudges.
- Change
your story of the grievance(s) to a testimony of
love, peace, grace and mercy, giving God the Glory
instead of the devil.
- Be
willing to learn forgiveness.
- by
asking others whom you have seen forgive
- reading
or listening to testimonies on healing
- seeing
how God has and forgives us
- Commit
to forgive and do what is necessary
- It
may take a while
- Be
patient with yourself and those that have caused you
injustice
- You
will have to learn forbearance
- Form
new ways of thinking
- Stop
making excuses or reasons for not forgiving
- Find
courage from God within and others to continue to
forgive
- Think
out the process
- Have
compassion on the person, see if you could have
walked in the other person’s shoes.
- Stop
condemning
- Be
careful of your imagination and negative emotions.
Separate the act from the person.
- Know
that you want to restore love and peace
- Remove
all resentments
- Surrender
to God to work out the anger, and restore you to
peace
- Look
to the work of forgiveness through Jesus’ example
as HE forgave.
- Remember
we need forgiveness many times also. We are all
imperfect and have weaknesses.
- Be
merciful, we have needed mercy and forgiveness in
the past.
- Love
1.
Set your heart on the freedom brought about by a
clear mind and emotions.
2.
Restore all things back to love and make it your
goal
3.
Seek peace with God and all men
4.
Stop the cycle of returning to the injuries and the
offences
5.
Know this is what God desires of us and our lives
are complete in Him
6.
Let Him take charge and turn it to good
7.
Allow the healing to permeate spirit, soul and body
8.
Experience the Love that comes from forgiving
9.
Surrender to God
10.
Remember that the Joy of the Lord is your strength
and you can do all things through Christ.
11.
All things work out for good for those who love God
12.
Let go of the past and look forward to the wonders
that God has for you because of your obedience to His
Word.
Forgive
those who others have forgiven
2 Cor 2:10-11
10 To whom ye forgive any thing, I
forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I
forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of
Christ
11 Lest Satan should get an advantage
of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.
KJV
2 Cor 2:10-11
10 If you forgive anyone, I also
forgive him. And what I have forgiven-if there was
anything to forgive-I have forgiven in the sight of Christ
for your sake.
11 in order that Satan might not
outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
NIV
List
names and situations from past to present that you need to
forgive. (God,
others and yourself)
__________________________________________________________________________________
God’s
example of forgiveness:
God
the Father sent Himself through His Son in the flesh and
gave Himself up to pay for our sins towards Him, to return
us to His loving relationship removing all penalties of
our sins for total restoration.
This is LOVE.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he
gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in
him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
KJV
Ephesians 2:4-9
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for
his great love wherewith he loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins,
hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are
saved;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and
made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might
shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness
toward us through Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace are ye saved through
faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should
boast. KJV
FORGIVENESS
QUIZ
- You
must forgive with all of your ______________.
Matt. 18:35
- Name
some of the King’s attributes, which are needed to
forgive and scripture resource for his behavior.
a._______________________________________________________________
b. scripture source ______________
- Define
compassion
__________________________________________________
- From
Matt. 18:21-35 list the steps to forgiveness:
________________________________________________________________
- Define
the law of reciprocity.
__________________________________________
- What
happens if we do not forgive?
_____________________________________
- Are
there times we need not to forgive?
_________________________________
- Define
mercy?
_____________________________________________________
- Was
Cain forgiven his sin of murder?
___________________________________
- If
so, why was he punished?
__________________________________________
- What
have we learned from the servant who did not forgive
his servant’s debt?
______________________________________________________________
- What
specific things have you learned from the teaching on
forgiveness that helped you to forgive others?
______________
______________________________________________________________
- Do
you have a testimony about forgiveness that has set
you free?
_______________________________________________________________
- What
about the person who forgave the debt, is this fair?
How does he deal with the emotions and
memories?
_____________________________________________________________
- If
you have understood the importance of forgiveness, how
should you apply this principle for your life?
_____________________________________________________________
